Achieved

When i came to this class I wanted to achieve to be a better writer. To be more confident with my work. Honestly I believe I achieved better writing skills. But I still feel unsure and uneasy of my essays I turn in. I remember the first blog talk about how unsure and not confident I was about writing because of my experience in high school. With writing 101 I still feel confident and unsure. I don't think I met my achievements and feel far from it.

However, I still think that in order for me to achieve this goals I need to start writing more and taking my multiple drafts seriously. Multiple drafts are for everyone even for good writers. It takes time for a great paper to come out. My grammar and spelling need to be more thought out . I need to have better structure and clarify things more. Also I cant forget about my audience.

Analyzing other peoples writing help me strengthen critically because now I just don't read the article I go deeper into it and try to see what they mean by each statement they have.

Planning for revisions

Pot For the Non-Smokers

When I was handed back my ad analysis I was surprised to see such a low grade. I was more than 90% sure I had great supporting details for my thesis statement. But then again my weakness was not being clear enough. I had many red marks saying explain, to vague and etc. One of the biggest weaknesses i have is been afraid to explain more because I always end up getting off topic, so i find this weakness something hard to control. for example in this analysis i state " they should remember that their readers come from all types of races, and to say something like this seems close minded. I see red words saying " Why does it seem close minded.?" If i answered it I felt like I was going to go off topic.

In order to try to see the improvements I can make in this paper, I will try to first of a;; maintain focus and organization. Organization is such a big issue, because I always try to just answer the assignment other than pay attention to my thesis statement.

Also I will pay attention to the paragraph in which I find "Personal Response " next to it. Definitively not a personal response but a conclusion.

I have to be more careful with words that I have in my essay because each word can easily change my essay.Lastly this simple and grammatical words are ruining my papers I have to put more time onto my paper and try to dig deeper into trying to review my paper.

Favorite Paper

My favorite paper would be the narrative. It was the simplest and most creative writing paper we had in this class. It was more about what had happened to us and we were able to write without evidence. More like a show and tell not the rest of our essays. My paper was called Confused writer. Since did happened to me I felt like i was able to have this paper be the easiest paper of them all.

Not only was the confessed writer my favor paper, it was also the only paper that when I rewrote it I had a B. I didn't need to struggle throughout like I usually do in the other papers. In this paper I didn't have to argue nothing or prove anything but tell about a story that happened to me and I enjoyed writing this paper. The rest of the papers where just to stressful and so many drafts and rewrites where put into it. In my first paper I felt like I didst stress about it because I don't feel like I had to look "deeper" in to meaning like the rest of the papers.

12 Thinking Critically about Evidence

Pathos

- Getting ticketed for wearing saggy pants. Should not get ticketed. Its your own clothes you own style.

-Imagine feeling uncomfortable wearing things you don't like.

Logos.

-Stereotyping people with saggy pants.

-Gang banger

-Thugs

-Criminals.

People should not be get ticked by the way they dress up.

Girls wear thongs, no ticket men wear saggy pants 200 fine, equals unfair.

Ethos

-I know a lot of friends who wear saggy pants and they are not thugs, gang banger, or criminals.

-Counter argument-They show there but hanging out and we don't want to see that. Girls show there breast or even wear thongs showing a lot too.

My thesis statement is that people who wear saggy pants should not get ticked with a 200 dollar fine because its stereotyping a certain group of people, taking freedom of expression and is unfair. When reading my article the strongest points would be having the counter argument of the readers.

For example some people argue that they should get ticketed because we don't want to be seeing their "goodies" hang out. I agree with the fact that I wouldn't want to see ones goodies hanging out but that means that women who have their breast hanging out, or wearing thongs should also get ticketed with a 200 fine.

My source seems weak once I reread it because I'm using one of my own experiences with a friend, and many readers will not take my credibility so seriously. I try to connect it with my thesis statement but once again i fail to have used a more stronger source.

Analyzing and Writing Good Arguments

First I analyzed, that when a writer doesn't use a counter argument, on his/her article they have their argument sound weaker. For example, when the writers in the 78 million bag, they stated reasons on how much time and money is wasted in the possession of weed but they do not talk about the cons for this argument. In my argument I now know that I will have a pro and the readers argument in my paper.

Secondly , I analyzed that writers shouldn't sound so informal or unprofessional when writing their paper. In one of the articles they state how they would be millions of dollars o"f debt due to black men buying reefer." This words change your view on the argument and on the writers. It help me realize that I should carefully word my argument because I wouldn't want to offend anybody.

Thirdly, I analyzed that it is important to have sources that actually will be taken seriously in my article. You cannot just start having random people who you may see important to a writer but irrelevant to the argument. Just because your source may have a high source like a "state major" or "cop" if what they state in your argument doesn't flow with what you are trying to convince readers , then it will loose the focus in your argument.

When writing an argument paper writers should not doubt what they are trying to argue. Using words like some, sorta, and words that make not seem so confident may not let readers take your argument seriously.

Assignment 10

Peer Review Edits

For the new idea of peer edits it helped me because I felt like a had a better understandings of the article first. We told each other ideas on how to improve our own essays and discussed the article too. I found it very helpful because I actually feel like my second draft was much improved considering the first draft. In my first draft i felt like my thesis statement was weak, and in the peer group there also told me it was contradicting.

My weakness is definitively loosing focus on peer edits and talking about other things. Not only that but i feel like I'm to nice when it comes to peer edits. I don't want to sound rude or mean even though i know were helping each other out. My strength would be talking in person about what could be changed a bit , or looses focus on other persons papers. I rather talk it on then actually write it down on a paper.

I found it more helpful actually been in a group, that way you can actually try to stay focus and have more comfort to talk with other people , then just one person into explaining them your opinion.When I was involved in the writing center at high school it made is easier too just to have a group for me and for the person having there papers checked out by other students. We have different ideas , different opinions to look at and take into consideration.

Peer Review

-One on one , helps those who are timid to feel a little more comfort.

- Focused on one paper, other then 2 or 3 papers.

- Able to have everything written on the peer review sheet other then forgetting what peers told you in review group.

Peer Review Group

-More opinions from other classmates that can help you more, other than just hearing one opinion.

-More talking from other classmates and hearing there ideas too.

-See mistakes from more writers then just seeing a mistake from one person.

Assignment 9

My weaknesses, my errors.

In my first 2 papers I had to rewrite them because there was a lot of questioning for the reader. One of my weakness is forgetting that the reader is not always aware of what I'm talking about,because i tend to forget that not everyone knows what I'm talking about. For example, in the paper about the narrative literacy I told my readers i was in an avid class. My audience quickly questioned me what is avid? I right away assumed that the audience would know what it meant since I had it for like four years.

Also in my papers I tend to sounds very informal and that right there is very unprofessional. I try to but once i look at it again there i am using " you" Professional writing should not have you. Not only that but i tend to repeat words like I believe, in my opinion, I remembered throughout my paper. I've had peer edits where they always tell me the same thing and somehow i still don't have it engraved in my head.

Finally I've had this problem since high school. Getting off topic is one of the toughest things I've had to deal with when it comes to writing. Its so easy to forget about what your thesis statement and start rambling about other things that has nothing to do with your topic. Then there is the organization of the essay. I've realized that in this class I tend to try to answer the assignment questions , forgetting about the intro, body and conclusion. The reminder of "students it must have a thesis statement ." always should be in my mind but when I've looked at my recent papers I've realized I failed to do so.

The $78 million bag

This article is talking about legalizing marijuana, because it will reduce are taxes. It also talks about how much money goes into filing cases in court, or how much work is spend by cops due to marijuana . In the article it states ' the government spend 78 million a year on just prosecuting , arresting just for marijuana possession." By this I believe i can agree that it should be legalized. This article caught my attention quick because of the money that is simply wasted due to having weed. I was amazed at the numbers because in the article it stated " 84,000 working hours a year were due to marijuana possession,."

This article quickly grabbed my attention because i also had a fried with a similar story. He told me and my friends that there was an incident in which a random car with guys followed him home and he called the cops. the cops checked the guys car and found possession in marijuana. My friend wanted to open a case, but the crops said " Just don't even think about doing a case. This is minor, and we really don't need to take this court." This story made me think about the fact that police didn't want to put so much time or money due to the fact of the expenses and task from a person carrying marijuana possession.

I also liked the fact that in this articled they talk about other then wasting time on marijuana cases, or money they could use it on something else. I agree that there is more serious things then to be wasting so much on marijuana possession. This article seems like it will be easy because of the fact that i believe weed should be legalized. If liquor is legal trust me marijuana should be definitively legal. All in all this essay makes me feel more stronger on my opinion.

My reflection

I've noticed a little progress in my own writing because I do put more effort. I try to remember that the reader doesn't always know what I'm talking about . For example , Lets say I was to write a paper about my dog Chico. If I had said Chico is fun to play with. They could right away assume its a dog, cat, hamster and e.t.c. I have to inform readers, tell readers who exactly Chico is. Genres, is always been talked about in class and I see the importance in why a paper should maintain only one genre throughout the paper.

Writing has always been a constant battle for me, trying to maintain focus and organization. But with this class I feel as if my writing has improved greatly. First off the writing class I took before this one was less challenging and to me it seemed the teacher expected less from us. With this class I constantly feel a challenge either with writing my blog, writing my paper, or in general just the critical review we talk during class. When we are review the essays that we read from other writes in our writing book we actually see what could have been changed and I find that helpful for our future writing papers.

I believe there is little improvement in my writing just because of the fact that this is the first class my writing teacher actually talks about the says, and the writing terms. In other words this is the first writing class in which, I feel as if my professor isn't just saying exactly textbook says.But making it a bit simpler and saying it in hes/hers own words. The notes i take in this class are very helpful when it comes to writing the actual papers. The peer review sheets help me a lot just because it tells me what could have been better and what confuses readers. With the the peer review sheets you are letting your peer partner read through your essay and find the mistakes you didn't see because it is your paper. I tend to find it harder to edit my own paper then to read others and peer edit it.

Comparison/Contrast

Both my blog and my written paper have an equal amount of stating the main reason of the soda board of American ass, The only big difference you can actually notice is how informal my blog is and my paper is formal.

In my literacy narrative writing you can read and see my analysis on the add of Coca-Cola. When you read my blog you will not notice if I'm a pro, or con for the ad. But as a reader reads my literacy Narrative they realize when I say " Even laboratories scientist have proven that younger children who have drank coca cola have more higher chance of getting acceptance. Meaning that personality a child grows it doesn't matter because in reality coca cola is the main factor your child will be accepted.

There is many detail is my literacy narrative but, I did not write the color of the words or the font because I didn't really see it fitting in my writing. In my papers I state how Coca-cola is basically saying you will have a great personality and might be an odd ball out if not given Coca cola in a young age.

As I write this blog I realize and actual paper is answering the assignment of the blog. In my paper I summarized the text, but also made an assignment about the deeper meaning used from text evidence.

Analyzing ad.

The purpose of the ad is so that mothers can buy Coca-cola for their children because it will bring them a better lifestyle as they grow older. In the ad the the left side has three characters.

-An active lifestyle.

-Boost Personality.

-Gives Essential sugars.

The ad is trying to persuade readers , ( mothers ) that Coca-cola is the ultimate way of been "accepted"

The target audience for this ad is mothers in general and parents . Why parents? A father would not want to be the social outcast. If hes child is a social outcast , so is he. So wit the child drinking the Coca-Cola they would conform.A mother is smiling teeth. Her teeth are so street, and her eyes are glistening as she gazes at her son He is blond headed and also has a huge smile. Clearly having this photo to symbolize a Happy mother, Happy baby, Happy life. Due to the Coca-Cola drinking at a young age. The women and her child are both white but I cannot reassure that this ad is only for a white ethnicity.

In my opinion this ad is for all mothers. "Do your child a favor.. is directing towards children and towards the caring mothers.Once gain the picture conveys a child happy and a mother too.

-Examples.

Even the laboratory scientist haven proven that coca cola have a more higher chance of getting acceptance.

Just like many other ads, they all try to relate to the audience. Mostly with mothers and child's they always connect towards there audience.

Revisions

In my paper I tried to remember that the audience was not in the story I was telling. So I tried telling readers about two different situations that would show readers how confused i was. One of the examples I changed was ending the last sentence in my thesis. I did not want to trow readers off because my peer partner told me that she was confused by my intro and body. She stated " I thought the teacher in your introduction was the same teacher that you talked about in the body." I did not want my audience to think that so I tried directing the fact that I had my seventh grade teacher and my high-school avid teacher.

In the paper I also added the sentence about how it was the year which we were working on personal statements. It was hard for me to connect the intro and body because I and my peer talked about how confusing it was to jump from one story to the next. Just so that the reader can have a reminder of how at the time I was in high school. I really didn't change much in my description because I though it was fine. Well my peer partner said I had good description through out the paper.

Reading my paper I noticed how I tend to use the same words . I also was uncertain if some of the sentences could have been shorter. I know as a writer it is very difficult for me to stick to the thesis statement without jumping to another topic. With this paper I tried to maintain on how confused I was in writing.

3 Writing Ideas

3 Writing Ideas

• One of the ideas I would like to write about is this brown wooden frame , with a beautiful blossomed rose , and a Spanish poem on it. Every morning it became a habit for me to run to my mothers arms and read her the poem. It said the love of a mother is like a rose always blossoming and always loving. My mother always had a big smile on her face , when i read it to her.

-I believe it would be a good idea because I was introduced to poetry this way. It would be a great way to show how I became so in love with writing poetry.

-One of the cons is that I believe I would be jumping from learning to write poetry and learning to perform in a poetry slam.

• Another Idea that comes to mind is when I became less confident with my writing. When i was young writing was so simple, but as I grew older that changed in my eyes. I had teachers telling positive and encouraging words, that when I heard one teacher say not so good stuff about my writing, it brought me terrible doubts. It seem like just yesterday this all happened, a memory that still seems to be a burden.

-Pro: It would be a good idea because as a child i remember going home running to my mother and showing her the A , On my writing papers. It brought so much happiness that I believe I can show readers how much I was into writing.

-Con: I feel as if uncertain parts I will get stuck in how to make it all flow together , that I might confuse readers.

• The last idea I would say is joining the writing center. I was going through a roller coaster with writing. I would be confident, then not confident and there I was a tutor at a writing center. The first time was an awkward silence, I did not know how to really interact, or how to even start. All I remember was feeling hot, and nervous because she was waiting on me to give her a response. When i gave her feedback it seemed that her face became red, so I tried to make a joke or something to break the tension.

-Pro- I feel like I can make the audience feel as if they were in my position. Also I believe I can amuse readers with the experiences I had with other students.

-Con- Writing about this might feel like there is a lot of repeating going on throughout the writing.

Writing Confidence

As a child I still remember been so enthusiastic to write a paper. At that age I believed I had strong writing. I remember teachers always complimenting me about the stories I wrote. But that all changed when I reached my freshman year of high school. I had an avid teacher for at least four years, and writing papers for her wasn't easy.

"Janet what do you mean by this sentence? Can you go deeper into this.? Does the body connect with the thesis statement.? " she questioned me every time she would peer edit my paper. Feeling overwhelmed because my other teachers would give me As on my papers, but she wanted more. At that point I kept telling myself obviously my writing most be poorly written if she always makes me redo a paper.

That all changed until i was a junior in high school. My avid teacher had told me I should join the writing center. I thought how could i join the writing center when my writing isn't all that good. Soon she had convinced me and I was now a tutor. Peer editing other students work made me improve greatly. I started writing everyday to improve my writing, until i graduated. I now had confidence in my writing.

Taking English 101 , is giving me the opportunity to have my writing confidence again. Once again i feel like i write poorly because of the time I took off of school, and stopped writing. Missing a whole semester due to working at night shift i was no longer focused on writing. I had to take a developmental class because I decided to work before the pretest at Northeastern. the class i took was to easy for me, I didn't even try, and still maintained an A in that class. I didn't feel enough challenge, until this semester of English 101.

English 101 class will prepare me for college writing because i still feel like I'm writing in a high school level. I just want to feel proud of my papers , like I did when I was younger.